Friends With Benefits
5/26/2008
I’ve got a serious case of writer’s block, and much like a raw penis, I can’t beat it. I have been attempting to write this blog for the past three days now. I’ve started and stopped, deleted, backspaced, and given up more times than I can count. I’ve changed my mind on the topic four times so far and I’m still not sure where I’m going with this.
Alright, I promised to write about “Friends With Benefits”, so let’s roll with this and see where it goes…
Casual hook-ups, friends with benefits, pals with privileges, fuck-buddies, booty call, one-nighters, baggin’ it and shaggin’ it, hittin’ it and quittin’ it, etc….not everyone is cut out for this practice.
In order for a successful F.W.B. (friends with benefits) to work, the two individuals must be totally honest and upfront. They need to be perfectly in-sync with each other at all times regarding their friendship and emotions. Like a circus high-wire act, being the slightest bit off-balance will throw off the relationship and send the friendship to a crashing end. That’s more work and risk than a regular relationship!
For the most part, it seems so much easier for a man to pull off the hump ‘n’ dump. Why is that? Why are we women, in general, more emotional? Keep in mind, I am generalizing. I have heard of a few instances where the man was the one who was left behind, scratching his head, wondering, “why hasn’t she called?” (a good male friend of mine - I’ll call him “Dick” – would say, “c’mon, buddy, grow a dick!” His words, not mine…lol..).
Anyhow, for those of us who have trouble “acting like a dick”, does that mean the casual hook-up is impossible? I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve. It’s so hard to NOT want more than the no-strings-attached fling, even though I know full well that it’s the wrong time in my life to get involved. Right now, I’ve got more baggage than Samsonite! However, I like knowing I have someone to go out with on date night. I like to cuddle afterwards. I don’t want to worry about whether or not I should wait for him to call first. Or maybe it’s just that I’ve been out of the dating scene for so long, I don’t know what the f*ck I’m doing.
Maybe my best bet would be to meet someone who lives far away, like in Boston or something. That way the whole day-to-day dating is out of the question. But what are the chances of that happening……:)
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*update 7/18/2008* BREAKING NEWS!!!! We’ve added something new! Check out my DAILY PHOTO JOURNAL! I’ll be shooting and uploading new pictures everyday – random stuff, self-taken timer pics, candids, things of interest… (you know how us Asians are about taking pictures!). Along with this being good photography practice for myself, you can now catch a glimpse into my day-to-day life…A Day In The Life Of… as seen through the lens of my camera …click here to get to Lil’ Miss Chris *PHOTO JOURNAL* .. http://afitnessconnection.wordpress.com/
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Funny stuff. You should write a screenplay, Chris!
krivstudiosblog said this on May 27, 2008 at 10:47 am |
chances are fu”Cking great now that you put yourself out there!
Friends with benefits is only suited for the strong minded when it comes to no emotions!
You have to be strong! Think sex, sex, and more sex! nothing else!
Most of the time people have others in there life or just do not want to be bothered with the day to day shit of a relationship!
You have to want to F”ck, Get Fucked,and thats it – just a good lay!
Who cares about how they feel or if it was even good for them. it’s all about your nut and nothing else!
If you started to care about was it good did he/she get off, should i cuddle should i stay should i go! WHO CARES! YOU’RE THERE FOR ONE REASON! Do it and bounce! and if they cant handle it – NEXT!
A said this on May 27, 2008 at 2:22 pm |
You are an absolute riot Chris. I love reading you’re stuff. No wondering what you think…you’re all out there, raw and uncut! Rock on girl. Hope to see you soon.
Rick Lohre said this on May 28, 2008 at 10:02 pm |
Oh, Rick – the raw and uncut version cannot be blogged. I’ll catch you up next time we see each other! How was Italy? I’ll head on over to your site after I sign off here….I’m sure you must have taken some amazing pictures. I finally bought a ‘nice’ camera today!
lilmisschris said this on May 28, 2008 at 10:16 pm |
You know Chris, I haven’t had the time to any work online in a few weeks, only check email, and I finally find a moment and check out your blog before writing my own and I stumble onto this entry. Maybe now is not the best time for a simple hook-up knowing how your emotions are on a roller coaster. We all get that way after a relationship. It’s hard to see clearly in these times. Shift focus and spend an enormous amount of time with your daughter. Before you know it, she’ll be dating and that time will be gone. Take care my friend.
djquad103 said this on June 1, 2008 at 3:16 pm |
Jeff – I agree with you that a hook-up of any kind – simple or emotional – is not a good idea immediately after a relationship. What I haven’t mentioned is, that though my divorce was only recently final, my relationship with my ex-husband was over long, long ago. With the exception of one brief experience (which made me realize I wasn’t ready yet), I chose to wait until it was legally over before “getting out there” again. Oh, and it will be at least ten years before my daughter is dating! LOL!
I’m not saying that I agree with “A”s point of view either, because i definitely don’t. Some people can pull off that attitude, some can’t if they tried. I fall into the latter category. He mentioned being “strong-minded…no emotion..”. That can almost translate to “cold-hearted and selfish”, especially when he talks about not caring whether or not it was good for the other person. I enjoy the emotional/mental part of a knowing person too much to be able to do the one-night stand, FWB, booty-call, etc…. (I would bet “A’”s all talk anyway.)
Chris
lilmisschris said this on June 1, 2008 at 4:05 pm |
Seattle is far away, “like Boston or something” . Not too many super- buffed women like you at my gym here in Seattle, Chris, but it’s right on Lake Union, so a beautiful time is had by all , especially if you stroll outside for a break.
Tommy888 said this on June 4, 2008 at 12:31 am |
I’m debating if I want to pursue anymore friends with benefits. My problem is that I have the worse luck where the other would fall for me and well that’s because I choose to be a gentleman at all times…of course in bed that’s a whole different story where such a category is irrelevant, but anyways I would screw myself over in being nice and when I try to lay it out nicely to the girl that I’m only in it for the physical interaction they think I’m playing hard to get. Then it all crashes and burns because in the end after accumulating so much delusions for the other I have no choice but to be an ass so that they understand that it’s not going to happen and I lose someone who might’ve been a good friend when all is said and done. Then I go through a trifle of a time figuring that I’m done with it and take the next girl as a relationship partner, and when that ends I go back again into finding punani and the vicious cycle never ends. I’m wondering the same thing too, perhaps it’d be better that my next physical venture involves a woman far far far away from me so that the daily motions are unknown to each other thus a lot of unneeded events of hassle cease to be unfolded.
Hiro said this on July 11, 2008 at 5:04 pm |